The Lioness, the Wizard, and the Broom Cupboard
by tris-everdeen99
Summary: "The sight of Draco Malfoy charging out of a broom cupboard with a flailing Hermione Granger in his arms was met with a mixture of reactions from the students of Hogwarts. It didn't help that he was missing his trousers." Dramione oneshot for Jeb.


**Hello everyone! It's been a while since I posted anything...I've had this plot bunny for a while now, so I'm glad I could finally post this :) It's a little bit crazy, but I enjoyed writing it, so hey - I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Um, I wrote this for MemoirsofaLostCause, because she's put up with my general insanity for a good few months now and has helped me a lot in just so many different things; way too many to list. Thanks for putting up with my rubbishness, Jeb xx**

**12:14**

"Are you sure, Fred?"

"Quite sure, George."

"Alright then. Don't say I didn't warn you."

It was with difficulty that the pair managed to drag two bodies around Hogwarts without being questioned, but they did so successfully anyway and finally arrived at their destination with triumph.

"I'll give you one last chance. I still say we try hypnosis."

"Dear Godric, George, how many times do I have to repeat myself? No matter what Ronniekins wants, the sexual tension between these two is reaching disturbing heights. Now, the only way to solve this little matter is to deal with it traditionally."

George shook his head. "By stunning them, taking their wands, and locking them in a broom cupboard?"

"Precisely."

"And this has absolutely nothing to do with – I don't know. A little side-business?"

Fred shook his head. "We've got to give the people what the people want. So what if we allow them to place a few bets? No harm done, right?"

George grinned.

Fred grinned.

"You going to place one yourself? I say they won't last five minutes in there." George finally spoke.

"Naw. I think we should place a little more trust in Hermione. Now quick, help me get this oaf in here – people are going to be arriving soon."

With a grunt, the pair lifted the blond teen and threw him with a dull thud into the cupboard in front of them. With a little more care, they lifted their friend and strategically draped her on top of him. When she stirred, and mumbled a little, they both shared slightly panicked but excited grins, and quickly locked the cupboard shut, pacing back to enjoy their handiwork.

George turned to his twin. "What time is it, Fred?" he cocked his head.

The second redhead theatrically drew out his watch with a flourish. "Time for the fun to begin." He answered with a smirk.

**12:20**

Draco shifted when at the sound of someone whimpering. It was with painful slowness that his vision swam into focus. His head was pounding like he'd been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs, he was cramped in what seemed to be a confined space, and for some bizarre reason he felt pinned down by some sort of weight. With another blink, he realised that he could actually feel someone lying on top of him. That's what the whimpers were. Their skin was soft, it was like having the best sort of silk from his robes rubbed on his cheek, and it was wonderfully fragrant, almost like –

"MALFOY!"

His eyes snapped open violently and he was met by the sight of a dark sienna pair, comically wide, staring straight into his own. With a yell he pushed the offending creature off him, jumping up only to slam his head straight into a wall.

"BLOODY - "

**12:23**

With a grin, George turned to his brother as he heard a screech come from the cupboard, followed by a dull _thunk_ and another scream. Fred was completely oblivious, his sole focus on the knuts, sickles, even galleons which were changing hands before him. The shouts only served to spur on the rapidly growing crowd before them into a frenzied excitement, and even more money was flung at the Weasley twins.

News that Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy were stuck – wandless – in a broom cupboard together had spread fast.

With a smile and a hum of contentment, George turned his attention back to the queue of people in front of him.

"It looks like the lovebirds have discovered each other." He whispered to himself.

**12:24**

Hermione stifled a scream and pushed herself as far away as she could from the boy opposite her. She was backed up against a wall, and felt horribly vulnerable in her position.

"Granger." Draco snarled, tossing his fringe out of his eyes with a snort of irritation. Subconsciously, Hermione smoothed her own halo of frizz, biting her lip at the twinge of (smothered) jealousy she felt looking at the ease in which he dealt with his hair. It was trivial, but she found it unfair that she had an unmanageable mane added to her ever-growing list of worries, while people like Draco Malfoy flicked their fringes like bloody Greek gods. People took hair like that for granted.

It was with embarrassment that she realised that she had missed the entirety of Draco's rant with her little moment. She only hoped that the half-darkness they were surrounded in hid the flush warming her cheeks. She forced herself to tune back into reality.

" – AND YOU JUST SIT THERE SILENTLY WITH YOUR EVIL WITCH-SCHEMING. I WANT OUT." She heard, as he thumped the wooden surface beside him, making the cupboard shake.

"Wait, what?" she choked.

"You locked us in here! Get me out, or – OR MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" Draco bellowed.

"Why in the name of Merlin would I do that?" she spat, suddenly becoming awfully aware of the situation she was in.

"Why wouldn't you? I'm intelligent, an aristocrat – not to mention sexy." It seemed that he was slightly side tracked. "Any girl would want to be near me."

"You idiot." Hermione shook her head with contempt. "Think again." She rolled her eyes at his scandalised expression and snapped at him again. "Now get your wand out and get us out of this – cupboard?" she looked around with confusion and pushed at the door. "What on – ugh, never mind." She patted her pocket again. "I can't find my wand and it's too dark to look properly. Hurry up."

"Don't tell me to - "

"Just do it!" she yelled.

She heard the sound of shuffling and waited patiently.

**12:35**

Silence.

More silence.

"Malfoy? It's been ages. What are you doing?" she tried not to growl.

"I – I - "

"You what?" she hissed, dangerously low.

"I can't find my wand." He looked up to meet her eyes defiantly.

With a silent gasp, Hermione stared at him. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm bloody sure."

"What the hell is happening? Someone's trapped us, and taken our wands!" Hermione shouted.

"Well done, Granger. Thanks for enlightening me." Draco snapped to mask his fear.

"Who?" she ignored his insult.

"If I knew, we wouldn't be in here." He snarled.

"It's fine, no need to panic." She tried to calm herself. "We probably haven't tried the door properly." She swivelled herself to face the chink of light coming from the keyhole and pushed again.

"Well?" Draco tried.

"Why don't you help me instead of sitting on your lazy arse?" she replied.

It was a good few minutes later when they finally gave up.

"Now can we panic?"

**12:51**

Most students who had found their way to Fred and George's little enterprise had made themselves comfortable by now. The lack of events meant that students were slowly drifting into frustration – they'd expected the sounds of murder by now – so the arrival of a few late stragglers brought a fair amount of interest. It was the arrival of Luna Lovegood, happily skipping – barefooted – up to the scene which caused a stir.

"Hiya boys." She smiled sunnily.

"Luna." Fred acknowledged, tactfully ignoring her interesting choice of clothing. Only when she began to smear some sort of paste onto the outside of the broom cupboard did mutters from the students arise, and George finally decided to intervene.

"Erm…what are you doing, Luna?" he asked tentatively.

She didn't stop working. "It keeps the Nargles away. They're terribly bad at this time of year." She said by way of explanation.

"Right."

**12:52**

Draco tried not to panic, but he was failing horribly. "H – How long do you think we'll be stuck in here, Granger?" he attempted to mask his fear.

"Scared, Malfoy?" her taunt lacked its usual scathing tone.

"No. Just concerned that you and your hair will drive me to insanity." He exaggeratedly flicked away a stray curl.

"Don't touch me." She snapped, pushing him.

"You don't touch me." He hissed back, flicking her shoulder.

She simply turned her back on him.

**13:00**

"Ugh, I'm so hungry." Hermione finally muttered, trying to suppress her stomach's growls of protest.

"I need food." Draco replied unconsciously. "I wonder what happens if you don't eat for days."

Hermione gasped and promptly forgot she was ignoring him. "You think we'll be stuck in here for days? Someone will have found us by then, surely?"

"But they should have by now!" he was beginning to get hysterical.

"Oh my god, we're not getting a proper oxygen supply!" Hermione shrieked. "I'M GOING TO SUFFOCATE!"

Draco gasped, genuinely terrified. "OR I'LL CHOKE ON YOUR HAIR!"

"OR YOU'LL SQUASH ME IN MY SLEEP!"

"OR WE'LL ACCIDENTLY KISS!"

"Wait, what?" Hermione stopped wailing.

"What?"

"You just said that we'll - "

"No, no I didn't." Draco rushed out.

"Yes, you did, you - "

"SUFFOCATION!" Draco tried to distract her.

It worked.

"DEATH!" Hermione wailed, completely overcome with fatigue and confusion now for any rational thoughts to reside in her head.

"DEATH AND RESURRECTION AND THEN DEATH AGAIN!"

"AARGH!"

Draco began to rock backwards and forwards, and Hermione did too. They both started to pound the walls, and in their complete breakdown, they didn't realise that the cupboard had begun to sway.

**13:07**

It was with wide eyed anticipation that the students seated outside the broom cupboard stared when it slowly began to teeter. It had begun when they heard generally mounting screams in volume and pitch, and the atmosphere was so tense when the cupboard began to shake that even Fred and George were silent. As it rocked in more violent motions and the screaming increased, they all knew what was coming but still stared in shocked – but entertained – silence.

With a _CRASH_ the cupboard toppled over, and one final yell was heard from its inhabitants before silence.

"Have we got a show an' a half." Fred finally muttered in wonder.

**13:14**

When the cupboard fell over, all Hermione felt was that one moment they were rocking dangerously, and the next she was flung about and battered and bruised, and bloody hell, it hurt. When she lifted her throbbing head, she realised with disgust that she was lying on top of Draco again. She managed to pull herself to her feet and rubbed her temple. It was wet – when she drew away her fingers, she found they were stained crimson.

"Flip." She muttered. She gently probed at her head again, but couldn't find any cuts or wounds of any sort; it was only when she heard a muffled groan that she remembered Draco.

"Malfoy?" she tried.

"Still here, idiot." He groaned.

She ignored his insult. "Malfoy, are you hurt?"

"Of course I'm bloody hurt!" he yelled, "I just got thrown about in a broom cupboard, and then you and your fat arse landed on me!"

"My arse isn't fat." Hermione muttered.

"SHUT UP." Draco shouted.

"I was only trying to ask if you're bleeding. I think you must be – I'm definitely not – look." She showed him her fingers.

"Aw cr - "

"DON'T SWEAR!" Hermione shouted.

"Stop shouting!" he yelled back hypocritically. "I have a headache."

"Let me see." Hermione leaned forward.

"Get away from me!" Draco slapped away her hands.

"Malfoy, you might need help!"

"Not from you!"

"Stop being such a baby!"

"You stop!"

"THAT'S IT!" Hermione pounced on the injured Draco, straddling him and pushing his shoulders against the wall until she was nose-to-nose with him. "Do. As. I. Say." She growled, dangerously low.

Draco smirked. "Who knew that you could be so dominant?"

Hermione had to hide her blush for the second time that day.

**13:25**

Once Hermione had worked out where exactly Draco had hurt himself, she realised that she needed something to use as a bandage.

"It's just a cut." She started, talking to the (for once) silent Draco. "But I need something to stop your arm bleeding."

"You could rip up your shirt?" he suggested, grinning.

"How about no?" she rolled her eyes. "I can use yours – no, wait. I don't want a shirtless Malfoy near me."

"You wouldn't be able to handle it." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"But I'm going to hope that you're wearing underwear." Hermione swallowed, ignoring him again. "In my twisted logic, at least you'll be covered up."

"Huh?"

"I need to rip off part of your trousers for a bandage."

"How about no?" Draco mimicked.

"Come on! It's not such a big deal!" Hermione was beginning to get flustered.

"Yes. It is. These are more expensive than you'll ever - "

"Here we go." Hermione interrupted, simply grabbing a piece of material herself.

"STOP! THESE ARE HIGH QUALITY!"

"MALFOY!" Hermione began to fight him again.

"STOP IT YOU WITCH!"

"HELP ME FOR ONCE YOU SPOILT ARSEHOLE!"

"NO!" he bellowed, as they continued to roll about like five year olds.

It was a good five minutes later when Hermione was once again pinning down her nemesis, triumphantly panting as he squirmed. Somehow in the course of their fight, she'd actually managed to pull of his trousers and end up with his tie around her throat. It was only then that she realised that they simply could have used one of their ties as a bandage instead – but with the black material in her hands already ripped to shreds, somehow, she thought it better to keep silent.

**13:37**

Draco stayed quiet as Hermione quickly rolled up his sleeve and bandaged up his shoulder. He noted that she was a lot gentler when she wasn't screaming blue murder at him – when she finally finished, she looked up at him biting her lip nervously.

"Is that okay?" she asked.

"Considering that you destroyed my trousers – yes." He actually managed to smile a little.

She opened her mouth as though she was going to apologise – or retort – but noticed his smile and shook her head with a little laugh, retreating to her side of the cupboard. "Let's hope we're out of here soon." She simply said.

It was a little while later when Draco realised that he'd been continually glancing at Hermione for the past few minutes. He couldn't understand why, but he had a sudden urge to smell her hair, which was becoming more and more difficult to supress by the minute. He almost didn't realise it – one moment he was backed up against the wall and the next he was breathing in the scent of new books and butterbeer and it was wonderful.

"MALFOY?!"

His eyes snapped open.

"Were you…smelling my hair?" Hermione choked out, looking torn between laughing, yelling at him, or – he wasn't sure why she kept glancing at him.

"Um. No."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe."

She crossed her arms.

"Yes."

She kissed him.

His eyes widened with shock, but hers were squeezed shut so he closed his too and just ignored any rational thoughts.

A second later she'd pulled away and was staring at him.

"Bloody hell. I didn't know Gryffindors could kiss like that."

**13:45**

Hermione backed away from Draco with a shriek.

"Granger? I – "

"Oh my God." She muttered. "Oh my God, I kissed Draco Malfoy." She turned to him and punched his shoulder. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I was just - "

Her eyes widened even more. "You enjoyed it! You liked kissing me!"

"Well, I - "

"This cupboard is driving me insane!" she shouted, kicking at a wall. "I can't ever go out now." She suddenly whispered.

"Granger, pull yourself together." Draco snapped. "What's gotten into you?"

"I kissed you, Malfoy! I can't face Harry or Ron or anyone again!"

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'll just have to stay in here forever. You'll bring me food, won't you?" she turned her manic gaze on him.

"Yeah, that's if I ever get out!"

"OHMYGOD WE'RE BOTH STUCK IN HERE FOREVER!" she gasped again. "What if it happens again?"

"If – if you kiss me?" Draco was beyond confused.

"OBVIOUSLY!"

"Granger." Draco tried to calm her down. "You've been confined in a small space for Merlin knows how long. You've banged your head; you're not thinking right. Calm down."

"I'm going to rip your eyes out." Hermione growled.

A few minutes more, and it was likely that she'd be driven clinically insane.

**13:46**

When Harry and Ron had heard about Fred and George's antics, it was an understatement to say that they weren't pleased.

It started when Parvati burst into the common room, giggling madly with Lavender by her side. "BOYS!" she'd shrieked, "Have you heard the news?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "No. What news?" he sighed.

"Fred and George have locked Hermione and Malfoy in a broom cupboard, and they're placing bets on how long they'll last in there! There's a massive crowd outside and everyone can hear them screaming!" Lavender screeched.

Harry turned to Ron. "They wouldn't – would they?"

Ron was slowly turning purple, and had apparently lost the ability to speak.

"It's true!" the girls chorused.

And so followed a dramatic few minutes while they raced to the corridor where the situation was supposedly taking place – and there was the cupboard, in all its paste-smeared glory. At the same time, Harry and Ron shoved past the twins and whipped out their wands.

"ALOHOMORA!"

**13:46 **

Draco managed to fight off Hermione when she leaped at him, and finally decided that enough was enough.

"If nobody is going to get us out of here, I'll have to do it myself." He muttered. "Let's go, Granger." He turned to Hermione.

"NO!" she yelled. "I'M NOT GOING TO FACE THE WORLD."

With a growl of frustration, Draco simply lifted her into his arms bridal style, ignoring her screams, and tried to ignore the fact that he actually quite liked the feeling of holding her.

With a grunt, he leaned forward to kick open the cupboard door, just missing the yell of "ALOHOMORA!" from outside.

**13:52**

The sight of Draco Malfoy charging out of a broom cupboard with a flailing Hermione Granger in his arms was met with a mixture of reactions from the students of Hogwarts. It didn't help that he was missing his trousers. And the fact that he thought that he'd just kicked the door down probably wouldn't help his already over-inflated ego.

Generally, the reaction was silence. Jaws dropped, eyes widened, and some Hufflepuff girl at the front of the crowd actually looked petrified.

Harry and Ron, on the other hand, promptly fainted to the delight of Luna who skipped over to smear some paste onto their faces, oblivious to the tension in the corridor.

Clearing his throat, Draco gently dropped Hermione to her feet, and seeing her tremble, he forced himself to do what was right. Draco held out his arm to the Gryffindor girl, waiting to be rejected, and had to hide a smile of delight when she linked her own arm through it.

"If you'll excuse us." He nodded to the crowd, perfectly poised, and led Hermione away.

**13:55**

Away from the crowd, the pair's frosty demeanour changed and Hermione practically collapsed against a wall.

"I don't understand what just happened." She muttered to herself.

Draco swallowed. "Say, Granger?"

"Yes?" she looked up.

"I don't suppose you'd like me to accompany you to Hosmeade next trip…? You know. In case you need some support against Potty and Weasel." He rushed out.

"Not on your life, Malfoy." She noticed his eyes harden, and his jaw tighten, so she continued. "I can handle those two on my own. But you can meet me up at the Astronomy Tower tonight." With a knowing wink, she turned and began to walk down the corridor.

Behind her back, Draco said nothing, but began to do a dance of victory which happened to consist of a lot shimmying.

"Oh, and Malfoy?" Hermione spun around, interrupting him mid-dance. She looked down at his boxers. "No trousers is a good look on you."

**There we go! If you enjoyed this, I'd love to hear from you - review if you've got the time, munchkins, because it makes me smile :) I'm also on the lookout for some new dramione fanfictions to read so if you've got a good one, please do let me know if you review or feel free to PM me just for a natter. If you want me to check out your story then do tell because I love discovering new awesome writers. Thank you :D**

**Love y'all,**

**Tris xx**


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